Growing up gets hard. Everyone’s pulling you in different directions, and keeping up with school, everyone you know, maybe a job, and yourself is… hard. You’re learning the ropes and growing up, and there is a “teething” process.

For someone on the autism spectrum, this time may be even harder.

This is especially true if they’ve not been diagnosed. A diagnosis gives someone with autism a chance to understand and come to terms with the different way they process the world. And as a result, they may find tools to make their life easier.

As a parent, having an undiagnosed teen with autism may also be a difficult experience. It will look to you as if your son or daughter is withdrawing, easily angry, or confused and anxious.

Here is a helpful list of signs. Do you go to a professional, or can you put down your teen’s behaviour to simply being… a teen?

Your Voix checklist for autism

Here are a number of “traits” or key markers that should prompt the question: does my child have autism? It’s unlikely a teenager will display all of these traits at once. At the end of the day, it’s up to a qualified professional to make the formal diagnosis.

Regarding other people…

1. Dominates the conversation or finds it difficult to ‘take turns’ when talking. Or the reverse: they struggle to answer questions about themselves and deal with the focus being on them.
2. Totally focused on a specific topic and want to talk about it… a LOT! And as other subjects are brought up, they may find it difficult to display interest or be interested at all.
3. Finds it difficult to follow non-verbal communication. E.g., they struggle to pick up sarcasm. They may get themselves into problems from interpreting things literally all the time. Another example: they can’t read facial expressions of anger and sadness.
4. Struggles to keep up with the rules of friendship (after all, these are often never stated or written down explicitly).
5. Dominates activities and has trouble letting others have a go
6. Hangs around with children much younger than themselves or prefers spending time with adult.
7. Follows rules rigidly. This is seen at school and with those their age.
8. Doesn’t make or keep eye contact.
9. Uses speech in unusual ways. For example, they may speak in a monotone, with an accent, or in a very proper and formal way or not at all.
10. Finds it hard to follow anything but a very simple set of instructions.
11. Shows a limited range of facial expressions, mismatched facial expressions, or expresses few emotions.
12. Prefers hanging around on their own, rather than joining in with others.
13. Does not enjoy sharing “personal space”! They don’t like to get physically very close to others.
14. Regularly resisting or refusing to go to school.

As for themselves…

1. Unusual hobbies or obsession with unusual objects. Here are a few examples of this point. He obsessively memorises all the facts about a popular band but has no interest in the music itself! She keep mental lists of car registration plates. He collects chewing gum wrappers. She insists on carrying a certain toy or object around everywhere with them, even as they get older.
2. Repetitive behaviour, such as a rigid pattern of lining up their books or computer games on the shelf!
3. Loving routine and getting easily upset when plans change suddenly and routines are not followed.
4. Very sensitive in regards to physical senses. They refuse to wear anything ‘scratchy,’ hate loud noises or only want to eat foods with a certain texture.
5. Alternatively, they are under-responsive to sensory experiences. For example, keeping a jumper on when it is very hot, or not reacting to pain when hurt.
6. Unusual body movements, such as rocking, hand flapping, and constant finger flicking.
7. Unusual noises. Your teenager might repeatedly squeal, grunt or clear their throat.
8. Feelings of depression, which may emerge when your teenager starts to understand that some of their behaviours are unique to their peers – and that others are noticing. This can lead them to feeling ‘on the outer’.
9. A sensory ‘overload’ or build-up can lead to your teenager displaying unexpected behaviour.
10. The development of an eating disorder, which can emerge during times of peak stress or anxiety, such as when a teenager starts high school.
11. Being disorganised. Teens on the spectrum often find it challenging to manage their increasingly complex school life, juggling study with extracurricular activity.